Why I Don't Party

If I lived in downtown Eugene I would be at eveyone's gigs a lot more often. My dilemma is that I live in JC and I have to DRIVE to get anywhere.
Since I drive for a living and I prefer to have a few drinks when I party I cannot party downtown and then drive home without running interference with all of the cops on 99 waiting to bust the first driver who forgets to use a turn signal. You see if I get pulled over and I have booze on my breath I will have to go the 9 yards and do a booze or drug test. If I flunk it means losing my day job and my livelyhood.
Hence when I party I do it at home where I can drink as cheaply and recklessly as I want to without worrying about driving home.
How do all the clubs and bars stay in business with all of these cops flying like vultures waiting for their next meal? I dunno and I don't want to find out the hard way.
Another thing is that I get up pretty early just to drive 300+ miles a day and I need a solid 8 hours of sleep to do that. So please understand that I don't want to wait up till 11PM to see your band.
I'm an old fart just trying to stay alive.
Thank You.